May Blues

There's a phenomenon that hits Japan called the May blues. It is as it sounds, though I only found out about it because a more knowledgeable friend informed me that I sounded like I had contracted a case.

After Golden Week, I didn't have much to look forward to. I had already organised with my boss to use all my nenkyu (holidays) in August when I wanted to go and study Japanese full time for a month. Life had settled into a very predictable routine and my classes which I used to love were now wearing my patience thin. The cute little old ladies questions were starting to drive me nuts and I was getting frustrated at the lack of progress my lower level adult classes were making.

Changes were happening at work too, not for the better; I found out that in September, many of my classes were going to be moved from nice rooms into run down old buildings because of continuing budget cuts. Then a rumour hit that we were going to be moved from our reasonably nice new office into another run down old building a further half hour from my house. This would involve an extra hour a day at least of travelling and make things like going to karate after work, my favourite activity in Japan, almost untenable.

I briefly entertained the idea of quitting, though a week earlier, the idea of not staying in Japan had never occurred to me. Though my contract wasn't due to be renewed for a couple of months yet, I had already agreed to stay on another year. I wanted to get my black belt in karate and become good at Japanese. But then I started thinking about what I would do if I wasn't working here, and all the possibilities blew the blues away and I started getting excited about crazy ideas.

When the rumour was quashed, a wave of disappointment ran through me. My perfect excuse for leaving had just dissipated. I was really confused about the gamut of emotions that were fighting with each other and spent a lot of time soul searching. surely I was just having a down period. A few days later though, I was pretty sure it was time to leave, but didn't want to make any rash decisions.

I decided I wouldn't make a final decision until the end of June, thus giving me a month to make sure and my workplace a good two months to replace me. However a couple of weeks later I was already sure, already talking to prospective boats I could go sailing on, volunteer organisations I could work for and hinting strongly to my mum and some of my friends that I might be home soon.

Last week I called a meeting with my boss and quit my job. It was such a good feeling afterwards. I was jumping up and down in excitement about the idea of being released from the all the time I spend trying to look busy in the office.

My rough plan at this stage is to go up to Hokkaido and do some camping after my contract finishes, before returning home for about a month mid Septemberish. Then I'm going sailing. I've been wanting to do an ocean crossing for a long time now. I have an option that looks promising, but don't want to count my proverbial chickens. Whatever happens, there are lots of boats out there and I know from experience, finding sea miles shouldn't be too difficult.

After that who knows? I can do anything. I might even come home semi-permanently and go back to school.

Until September, I just want to savour my last few months in Japan, though I have a pretty strong feeling I'll be back at some stage.